De-stress, Smalley Style

My husband and I were able to attend the Gary Smalley Love and Laughter Seminar 
at our church this last Saturday. It was life changing. Having had gone to the last
seminar he did while here in '06, I thought I would get a good review of what I
had learned the last time. I couldn't have been more wrong. 


I learned so much this time around, mostly that I have so much work to do on 
myself. One of these areas is irritability. There are many times I become 
irritated that my husband isn't doing things right or not helping out as much as 
he could around the house, and whether or not that is the case, my irritation 
is my own problem. It means that there are things in myself I need to deal with. 


The last couple years I have noticed myself becoming more easily frustrated, 
stressed and irritable, not at all the person I was when I was younger. I blamed
it on now being a mother of two; changes in hormones (maybe); and having 
seemingly ton more work to do with less time to do it, and once I get it done,
it doesn't stay done very long. Add on top of that working outside the home.


This last weekend showed me that all this irritation and stress is my own 
fault and not my circumstances or surroundings. Gary Smalley said something
that really opened my eyes in the area of stress. "Stress is the gap between what
you expect in every area of your life and what you have." If I have the expectation
that I will be able to accomplish certain things throughout my day, week, or 
year and in reality it is not coming about, it causes stress. 


If I have the expectation that my son will in fact eat what I have prepared
for dinner, and he instead spits it out - that produces stress. What do we 
then do in these times? Mr. Smalley's solution is giving thanks (a grateful
heart). So instead of becoming frustrated, I can try all my mom tricks for 
getting my son to eat while being so thankful that this is the biggest struggle
of the evening and that my son is healthy and destined for great things. 
When you think this way, dinner challenges seem very small. 


I do have so much to be grateful for. Not only do I have a home to live in
and a beautiful, wonderful family, I have eternal life through Jesus Christ. 
I have a wonderful destiny in Him and will spend eternity with Him after I die.
All the day to day stuff I let get to me isn't worth it. 


This week when something or someone is really irritating you, remember, 
it's not that thing or that person, it's you who has the problem. And when 
you get stressed out, think of as many things as you can to be grateful for. 
One of Mr Smalley's examples was running late to go somewhere and being 
stuck in traffic. Instead of being upset at the situation, be thankful for the patience 
it can produce in you. We all could do with more patience in our lives. :) 


I learned so many other valuable lessons this last weekend, but it would be an
exceptionally lengthy post if I wrote about it all. If you would like to visit Mr. 
Smalley's website, I have attached a link where you can check out the awesome, 
common sense books he's written on great topics such as marriage, relationships, 
and parenting. 


For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.   Galations 5:13-15, ESV


http://smalley.cc/